Like the ones on Facebook:
Jane Donuts is so glad she has four weeks of vacation per year.
Jane Donuts had a lovely run around the reservoir this morning.
Jane Donuts just had a delicious cup of coffee.
Jane Donuts also wishes people could say what they're really thinking in their status updates. Like:
Jane Donuts doesn't want to go to work but knows she would get bored at home.
Jane Donuts is filled with self loathing.
Jane Donuts wishes she'd insisted on piano lessons as a child so she could now be a rock star now and not have to pretend to care about her corporate job.
Jane Donuts is wearing her fat pants today; is fucking pissed.
Whatever social media is doing to us is strange if these are the side effects.